"Lend me your eyes, I can change what you see"

...but your soul you must keep totally free."
-Mumford and Sons, "Awake My Soul"

And today, a little self-reflection.  I was reading comments on my blog (because until today I totally forgot about that feature) and saw a comment from my wonderful friend Kalie (hi!) referring to me as her friend who refuses to live in anything constant.  The minute I saw that, two things happened.  The first is that I felt an instant pang of missing her (obviously, who wouldn't?) and the second is that I realized without any hesitation that it's quite true.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to Jenn (hi!) and we had a conversation on my penchant for getting bored and moving on whenever things get too comfortable.  As soon as I brought up a couple examples, she said, "Ah, yes.  The Maryn I know and love!"  So this isn't a new characteristic, or one that I'm making up to give myself something to talk about.

I'm both proud of this trait and a little disturbed by it.  What if I can never "settle down"?  What if this lifestyle leads to me constantly having to make new friends every couple of years as I continue to move?  But then again, what if this movement is incredibly formative?  What if it allows me to do things I would otherwise be afraid to do?  What if?

But I'm choosing to exist beyond the "what if."  I can not (or will not) force myself to stay still while I have the motivation to move.  There may come a day when I get tired and am happy to live in one city, in one house, for the rest of my life.  But on that day I want to know that I have lived it up.  Until then, I'm going to think about going to grad school away from my first home and away from my undergrad home.  I'm going to think about joining the International Committee of the Red Cross to go work in the most remote and dangerous jungles.  I'm going to float on the wind, to go where I please.


Enough of that.  Everything continues to be great here.  There's a little girl who lives upstairs who is about 5 by the sound of her voice and loves to sing "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga.  I can always hear her on the veranda, and it provides endless entertainment.  Yesterday my friend and I literally sprinted to make the train and jumped on after the whistle blew.  Tomorrow we don't have school due to a public holiday and I will thus be exploring Lausanne (also will be going out tonight...again, live it up while I can!).  So clearly, things are not boring here.  My current obsession is picking 20 of my favorite songs to put on a mix CD because everyone on the trip is exchanging music.  I've been working on my list for about a week now, am still adding and removing songs, and am beginning to think I will never be able to narrow it down to 20.  Of course, I SHOULD be working on my paper, but I like to procrastinate.  Some things never change!

Love you all! (Or at least I'm assuming I do, if you care enough to be reading my blog.  Stalkers, I might not love you, but I hope you have a good day.)