Find My Direction Magnetically

"Such is the way of the world

you can't ever know

just where to put all your faith

and how will it grow

Gonna rise up

burning back holes into memory

gonna rise up

turn mistakes into gold

Such is the passage of time

too fast to fold

and suddenly swallowed by signs

lo and behold

Gonna rise up

find my direction magnetically

gonna rise up

throw down my ace in the hole."

The lyrics above are from the song "Rise" by Eddie Vedder from the movie "Into the Wild."  It's one of the songs I listen to quite often.  On the one hand, it serves to give me strength when I'm feeling wimpy and whiny and generally tired.  On the other, I listen to it as my own personal anthem when I'm feeling triumphant.  Today, it's a little bit of both.

I'm wimpy, whiny, and tired because I only have 6 days left of this incredible adventure.  I keep telling myself how wonderful it will be to go home, but there's a part of me that is so reluctant to leave and is afraid of the transition.  I guess that's how it is at the end of anything great.  I'm triumphant because I'm really happy about my life right now socially, academically, and geographically.

Since being in Croatia, life has been kind of a sleepy blur.  I realize I've posted once about Pula already, so I'm sorry if this is repetitive.  The first days were spent frantically completing my paper (which was a critical analysis of development aid from a security perspective and, including appendices, was 48 pages long).  Since then, I have presented said paper (45 minutes of presentation and the question and answer period, both of which went very well) and relaxed.  I am now officially done with my work for this semester, which is a great relief.  Our resort is very nice, but a ways out of town. As such, it's kind of a hassle to get into Pula, and honestly there isn't much to do in town either.  So it's kind of been a bit boring, but still nice.

I've spent the last few days wandering around town, discussing international relations as well as all sorts of things with the other kids on the trip (by the way, I'm really going to miss only hanging out with other international relations kids.  It's really easy to nerd out and have a great conversation about the ramifications of the ethnic conflict in Bosnia on today's EU.  I guess I won't have that as much at home), watching Bond movies on the big screen in the conference room, celebrating the end of work, and swimming in the hotel's pool.  It's a pretty nice life, but I miss Switzerland soooooo much.  It's been very smooth as far as transitions go, but still.  I think I just don't like transition periods.

The primary intent of this post was to share my playlist for the semester.  I've been keeping a list of all the songs that have been stuck in my head - both meaningful to my situation and just for fun - so that I can always recall the emotions of the semester.  I'm someone who has a tendency to think more than to feel, and so I utilize music to really capture what emotions are hiding under the thoughtful analysis of my situation.  I started doing this last year, when I e-mailed home about something that really bummed me out, and got two classic responses.  The one from my mom was so much in her voice: compassionate, thoughtful, and feeling my pain. The one from my dad was what really made me smile.  It was only two sentences long, and I forget the first sentence, but the second was "What song are you feeling right now?"

These are the songs I've been feeling all semester.  It's also just a good playlist (in my opinion).  I'm not asking all you readers to go out and buy these songs, but here they are in case you want to read them.  If not, check out now!  I'll catch you later.

Geneva Playlist:

1. In Your Atmosphere - John Mayer

2. World Spins Madly On - The Weepies

3. Graceland - Paul Simon

4. Defying Gravity - Glee Cast

5. Stand by Me - Playing for Change

6. Rise - Eddie Vedder

7. Change of Time - Josh Ritter

8. Wildflowers - Tom Petty

9. Wagon Wheel - Mumford & Sons

10. Song for You - Alexi Murdoch

11. Telephone - Pomplamoose

12. Wait - Alexi Murdoch

13. Cello Song - The Books feat. Jose Gonzalez

14. Train Song - Feist & Ben Gibbard

15. Brackett, WI - Bon Iver

16. I Was Young When I Left Home - Antony with Bryce Dessner

17. Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch

18. I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers

19. Awake My Soul - Mumford & Sons

20. Terrible Love - The National

21. This is the Song (Good Luck) - Punch Brothers

22. Lover of the Light - Mumford & Sons

23. Windmills - Toad the Wet Sprocket

So there it is.  The musical chronicle of my successes, failures, despairs, and joys of the adventure semester.   Perhaps the most personal information I could ever put out in the blogosphere, but unless you know me REALLY REALLY WELL it's just a playlist with some really great songs (plus a couple cheesy ones).

Enjoy!